stay

today it was rainy
clouds hiding sky
the night lasted all day

sometimes
i feel invisible like
i could crawl underneath my bed
and no one would find me
it makes me feel sixteen or
six again

i was never afraid of monsters
my nightmares were full of real people doing
the scary things that they do

i was afraid of the dark and
the taste of tears and
the way i could hold onto people
so tight
but they'd still manage to slip away

sometimes my love is so enormous
i wonder how i can still breathe
sometimes i can feel
my wanting
crushing me

lately i sleep holding on to a pillow
trying not to think too hard about
someone who will stay by my side.